69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
