Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
