ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
