I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize