I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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