She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
