you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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