i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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