Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize
