Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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