I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize