youre lurking in front of me
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
