I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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