69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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