You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
