the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
