Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
