Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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