There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Randomize
