You surviving the open bar?
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I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Randomize
