??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Randomize
