Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
