Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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