just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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