her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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