How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
