Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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