I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
