haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
