your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I just made out with a guy for $7.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
