I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
