im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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