I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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