In America we eat man semen.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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