That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
