yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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