Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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