Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
