I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
