So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
