if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
