Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize
