Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
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