You work out of a Hotel?
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
