you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
My vagina just recognized that song.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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