a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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