Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
