yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
