I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
