let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
