i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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