addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
