even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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