Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
