Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
