You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
