i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
